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Where I'm brave.

It took me a long time to come out of the closet, but I had no energy left to exist in a neurotypical world without acknowledging my neurodiversity. I did my best, too long. WAY too long.
 
I don’t expect you or anyone to understand how I think, or accept it. I don't care. This is for me; anyone with Autism, anyone who loves someone with Autism, and anyone interested in understanding the brain of a woman with Autism. 
 
At this point on my journey, I’m proud of myself for still being here.

My hope is to keep doing greatness in the world. My goal is to keep inspiring others, keep shining light in the dark places still unknown about Autism and the human condition, and lift everyone I come in contact with up a bit higher than before meeting me. 

Here you will get a chance to read something I've never shared before... What it's like for me living my life with Autism. 


It's exhausting.

2/23/2019

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Is reading people exhausting? 
No. Reading people is the most natural thing that I do. I'm happiest when I do my "thing" and reading people is my "thing." 

Most people with Autism hyper-focus on a specific thing or things, and often excel or are highly knowledgeable about that thing/set of things. 

Since my near death experience, reading people has been what I've excelled at more than any other thing in my life. Yes, I love Mycology, learning about wild gourmet mushrooms. Photography, cooking and spending time in deep nature, but beyond that, my passion is learning about humans. 

Psychology has always fascinated me, but more than that, I'm interested in the energy of humans and how that compels them to think the way they do, resulting in their actions and behaviors which then become the story of their life.

The energy of humans, along with the human condition and behaviors that coincide are what fascinate me. 

I see energy. To understand what I was seeing, I had to work with many people to form a point of reference. Similar to building a language, I developed a system as to understand what I was seeing, while observing the energy of humans. 

I discovered, after reading thousands of people, that my work was accurate. Always. Never not. I never misread or interpreted the energy I was seeing inaccurately. This validated questions I had about myself, like 'If I'm the only one seeing the way I do, is it possible I'm crazy?' (Mind you, this was all in question before I discovered my diagnosis.) 

Let me backtrack...

I learned that I have Autism, just a few years ago. My entire life was spent misdiagnosed, until I died, was resuscitated, and I spent years thereafter searching for answers about myself.

I wanted to know why I saw the way I did, why I experienced life so differently than the general population and what these differences were. I desperately sought to know.

As I explored, finding out that I have Autism was only one of the wild things along the way. Granted, it's been HUGE. Probably one of most massive understandings of my life, but there's more... definitely more. So much more. 

Autism affects every second of my day, every single thought, every move, ever. 

I am hyper-conscious of each movement of my body, every thought that comes to mind related to how my actions/words/presentation is observed and/or affecting others.

I keep to myself and keep my energy out of the field of others, unless it is absolutely necessary that we interact with one another. 

I am exhausted by Autism, not my work as an intuitive.

Living with Autism is a constant job of living hyper-focused, or out of my body. The only reason I appear to be better at functioning is because I choose to live in my body more than some others with Autism. This is the only reason I may appear to function better/more appropriately than your mute cousin. 










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    Raea 

    I'm a woman living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Aspergers, revealing some of my challenges, joys, experiences and everything in between. 

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